A month have crawled by without me noticing since i last updated this blog. And it was as though it was just yesterday that i wrote of her. Ahhh...speaking of 'her', She that i thought of unceasingly both day and night, being intoxicated, disillusioned, unadmitting the reality that lies vividly before my eye, is now no more than fragments of that potrait I once envisioned.
Reality sure does have a funny way of showing herself. Till disillusion creeps in again, speak shall i not of her again. :)
Have been carolling for the past 3 days, hectic as it is, the fun was one that i will not forgo. So goes the saying, Christmas isn't Christmas till it happens in your heart? How will Christmas happen in your heart if you do not want it? Boring some would say, but these are the perks in life that i so look forward to.
Let this season be one that brings joy of eternal value.
Blessed Christmas & Happy New Year.
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Lead me not into temptation...
An interesting read...
"...Continuing in my series of articles on infidelity and the married or dating person, we shall attempt today to understand the issue of temptation and trust in our romantic relationships.
Most, if not all, of us have discussed (or perhaps the more truthful word is argued) about this with our mates: When one of us turns our eyes to look at an attractive person of the preferred sex, our mate will either give us the evil eye, or stop talking to us, or ask us 101 questions such as "Is (s)he THAT attractive that you can't tear your eyes off him/her?", "Am I as pretty/good-looking?" or "Do you prefer that kind of look?", and so on and so forth.
Even those of us with partners who seem not to mind, actually do (speaking of yours truly). I know exactly what kind of look my husband is in to. As such, if attractive women who don't fit that category walk by, I have no qualms about his openly admiring them. However, if they happen to be the 'right' kind of women, I become more - shall I say - inquisitive!
More often than not, issues about admiration and close proximity with members of the preferred sex one is not attached or married to, always end up as an issue of trust (or lack of it). In the end, we seem to believe that if we trust someone enough, we should not be worried at all. As such, even if (s)he happens to be working or socialising in a company of wolves or models (insert whichever applies), (s)he is not in danger of being tempted away - simply because you give him or her the trust.
What about cause for this trust? What about human weakness? What about the passage of time and the uniqueness of the human condition in that we enjoy a little change or challenge, once in a while?
As such, we must then contemplate issues such as, is harmless flirting really harmless? What is wrong with sending a colleague of the opposite sex home in the middle of the night when you are married? What is wrong with getting pissed drunk with a client every weekend because nothing 'bad' ever really happens, even as your wife or husband is alone with the kids at home? In the end, we must trust each other NEVER to falter because without trust, how can our relationships survive?
Wait a minute. I thought only the paranoid survive?
A friend told me that one Sunday, a pastor in her church talked about infidelity and temptation. In a nutshell, the pastor preached about limiting situations where one can be tempted over a long period of time. For example, he advised married executives not to offer colleagues of the opposite sex lifts home despite their good intentions, or to work long hours at close proximity for too long a period. It seemed that even a man of God believed that trust in the divine to help a human being not stray into sin was not sufficient. After all, God helps those who help themselves.
So the next time we ask our mates, "Don't you trust me?", it is prudent to ponder if we give them cause to trust us when we are spend a significant amount of time at work, supposedly entertaining our clients or giving face to our bosses. Is going out three nights a week with your customers to the pub really necessary to make that promotion? Is it reasonable to spend an hour on the phone with your friend because she has no one to talk to but you, everyday?
Is it really possible to want to chat about things you don't even tell your wife, with a total stranger you met online, or is it just a lie - even to yourself? If not, why keep it away from her?
Sometimes, seemingly innocent things can get out of hand when it is done over a long period of time, something my mother used to tell me when I entertained the phone calls of a gentleman friend back in my dating days, even though I had no intention of ever spending any serious time with him. We best understand this when we ourselves are subjected to the act of being led on and around.
"There is no such thing as an innocent drink," said one of the Friends in the sitcom, referring to a date that was supposed to be platonic. Sadly, this is truer in real life than many would care to admit, particularly when we live in a world where financial stability seems to be more important than moral integrity and honesty.
After all, how many of us would quit our jobs just to spend more time with our families?"
-Jennifer Tai-
"...Continuing in my series of articles on infidelity and the married or dating person, we shall attempt today to understand the issue of temptation and trust in our romantic relationships.
Most, if not all, of us have discussed (or perhaps the more truthful word is argued) about this with our mates: When one of us turns our eyes to look at an attractive person of the preferred sex, our mate will either give us the evil eye, or stop talking to us, or ask us 101 questions such as "Is (s)he THAT attractive that you can't tear your eyes off him/her?", "Am I as pretty/good-looking?" or "Do you prefer that kind of look?", and so on and so forth.
Even those of us with partners who seem not to mind, actually do (speaking of yours truly). I know exactly what kind of look my husband is in to. As such, if attractive women who don't fit that category walk by, I have no qualms about his openly admiring them. However, if they happen to be the 'right' kind of women, I become more - shall I say - inquisitive!
More often than not, issues about admiration and close proximity with members of the preferred sex one is not attached or married to, always end up as an issue of trust (or lack of it). In the end, we seem to believe that if we trust someone enough, we should not be worried at all. As such, even if (s)he happens to be working or socialising in a company of wolves or models (insert whichever applies), (s)he is not in danger of being tempted away - simply because you give him or her the trust.
What about cause for this trust? What about human weakness? What about the passage of time and the uniqueness of the human condition in that we enjoy a little change or challenge, once in a while?
As such, we must then contemplate issues such as, is harmless flirting really harmless? What is wrong with sending a colleague of the opposite sex home in the middle of the night when you are married? What is wrong with getting pissed drunk with a client every weekend because nothing 'bad' ever really happens, even as your wife or husband is alone with the kids at home? In the end, we must trust each other NEVER to falter because without trust, how can our relationships survive?
Wait a minute. I thought only the paranoid survive?
A friend told me that one Sunday, a pastor in her church talked about infidelity and temptation. In a nutshell, the pastor preached about limiting situations where one can be tempted over a long period of time. For example, he advised married executives not to offer colleagues of the opposite sex lifts home despite their good intentions, or to work long hours at close proximity for too long a period. It seemed that even a man of God believed that trust in the divine to help a human being not stray into sin was not sufficient. After all, God helps those who help themselves.
So the next time we ask our mates, "Don't you trust me?", it is prudent to ponder if we give them cause to trust us when we are spend a significant amount of time at work, supposedly entertaining our clients or giving face to our bosses. Is going out three nights a week with your customers to the pub really necessary to make that promotion? Is it reasonable to spend an hour on the phone with your friend because she has no one to talk to but you, everyday?
Is it really possible to want to chat about things you don't even tell your wife, with a total stranger you met online, or is it just a lie - even to yourself? If not, why keep it away from her?
Sometimes, seemingly innocent things can get out of hand when it is done over a long period of time, something my mother used to tell me when I entertained the phone calls of a gentleman friend back in my dating days, even though I had no intention of ever spending any serious time with him. We best understand this when we ourselves are subjected to the act of being led on and around.
"There is no such thing as an innocent drink," said one of the Friends in the sitcom, referring to a date that was supposed to be platonic. Sadly, this is truer in real life than many would care to admit, particularly when we live in a world where financial stability seems to be more important than moral integrity and honesty.
After all, how many of us would quit our jobs just to spend more time with our families?"
-Jennifer Tai-
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